By Dr. Devan*

Introduction :

Life often feels like a series of embraces and rejections. Some people will hold us close, nurture us, and protect us. Others will push us away—sometimes cruelly, sometimes out of indifference, and sometimes simply because they cannot see our worth. At first, being pushed out hurts deeply. It feels like rejection, abandonment, and loss. Yet when we look back, we realize that those very moments were the catalysts that forced us to grow. They became the winds beneath our wings, enabling us to fly higher than we ever imagined.

This paradox—that those who seemed to hinder us actually helped us—is one of life’s profound truths. To thank those who pushed us out is not merely a gesture of forgiveness, but an act of deep wisdom. It means recognizing that destiny often works through the hands of others, even those who cause us pain.

The Pain of Being Pushed Out

No one enjoys rejection. Whether it comes from a loved one, a workplace, a circle of friends, or society at large, it pierces the heart. A child abandoned by parents, a student dismissed by teachers, an employee rejected for promotion, or a lover turned away—all know the searing ache of exclusion. In those moments, we often cry out: “Why me? Why now? Why this injustice?”

We forget that pain is often the beginning of transformation. Just as the pearl is born out of the oyster’s irritation, so too are our strengths born out of rejection. Those who pushed us away unknowingly became the teachers who forced us to search for our true identity.

The Cocoon and the Butterfly

One of nature’s most beautiful metaphors comes from the caterpillar’s struggle. Inside the cocoon, the caterpillar dissolves into seeming nothingness before reconstructing itself into a butterfly. When the time comes, the butterfly must break open the cocoon on its own. If someone “helps” by cutting open the cocoon, the butterfly emerges weak, its wings underdeveloped, and it cannot fly.

So too with us. The struggles, the exclusions, the rejections—they are our cocoons. Those who push us out are not our enemies but the necessary pressures that make us break through. Without them, our wings would remain untested, fragile, and incapable of carrying us skyward.

The Push That Awakens Potential

Think of some of the greatest transformations in history.

Buddha left the luxuries of his palace after being “pushed out” of his comfort zone by the realization of human suffering.

Mahatma Gandhi was thrown out of a train in South Africa. That humiliation became the spark that ignited his lifelong crusade for justice.

Steve Jobs was forced out of his own company, Apple, only to return years later with greater vision and humility, reshaping the world of technology.

Each of these figures could have remained bitter. Instead, they transformed rejection into fuel. They thanked those who pushed them out—not directly in words, but in the very act of soaring beyond their limitations.

From Rejection to Redirection

Rejection is never the end of the road; it is a redirection.

The job you lost opened the path to the career where your talents truly shine.

The relationship that ended freed you for a deeper, truer love.

The community that excluded you compelled you to find your authentic tribe.

Often, we only understand this in hindsight. When the wound is fresh, the pain feels unbearable. But with time, we see the unseen hand of destiny guiding us toward the place we were always meant to be.

The Spiritual Dimension

In many spiritual traditions, rejection is seen as divine guidance in disguise. Hinduism teaches that karma orchestrates every experience, ensuring that nothing is accidental. Christianity emphasizes that rejection by the world often precedes God’s greater purpose. Sufi poets speak of being “cast out” only to be drawn closer to the Divine Beloved.

To thank those who pushed us out is to recognize that they were instruments in the hands of destiny. They may not have known it, but they played their part in the grand drama of our unfolding. Their rejection was not the end of love—it was a different form of love, one that forces growth rather than comfort.

Personal Growth Through Exile

Every exile becomes a journey of discovery. When we are comfortable, we rarely grow. But when we are pushed out—of homes, jobs, relationships, or familiar places—we are compelled to reinvent ourselves.

The student rejected from one university finds another path and becomes a pioneer.

The entrepreneur denied funding learns resilience and innovation.

The artist mocked and dismissed develops a unique style that later becomes admired worldwide.

To be pushed out is to be given the gift of independence. It forces us to find our own wings rather than relying on the nest.

The Gratitude Practice

How, then, do we truly thank those who pushed us out?

Shift Perspective – Instead of asking, “Why did they hurt me?”, ask, “What did I learn?”

Release Bitterness – Carrying resentment binds us to the past. Gratitude liberates us.

Celebrate Growth – Recognize that your current strength, wisdom, and courage were born from those moments of exclusion.

Offer Silent Blessings – You need not return to those people or force reconciliation. But in your heart, send them blessings.

By doing this, you transform pain into power, and rejection into renewal.

The Wings of Freedom

Flying does not mean forgetting the past. It means carrying it as a source of strength. Every feather in your wings is made of memories—some joyous, some painful. Those who pushed you out contributed to your wingspan. Without their push, you might never have taken off.

When you soar, you do not soar despite them—you soar because of them. Your gratitude becomes the silent music of your flight.

Conclusion

Life will always bring moments of rejection. To be pushed out is part of the human journey. But instead of clinging to bitterness, we can choose gratitude. Those who cast us out are often the very ones who unknowingly made room for our destiny.

So let us bow in humility and whisper thanks—not only to those who loved us and embraced us, but also to those who shut their doors, turned away, or dismissed us. They were the cocoon-breakers, the unseen teachers, the midwives of our transformation.

Indeed, thank all those who pushed you out—for because of them, you could sprout your wings and fly.

Dr Devan is a Mangaluru-based ENT specialist and author.

Hindusthan Samachar / Manohar Yadavatti