*By Dr. Devan
Human beings are wired to desire—to want love, success, money, respect, and happiness. But few stop to realize that the only sure way to get is to give. The farmer cannot expect a harvest without sowing seeds. A student cannot expect wisdom without giving effort. A worker cannot expect promotion without giving performance. The principle is timeless: you must give first before life gives back to you.
The question then is simple but piercing: What have you given?
Giving in Personal Relationships
1. In Marriage and Partnerships
A common mistake couples make is waiting to receive love, attention, or understanding before they offer it. “I’ll be kind when they are kind.” But the secret is to give first. A small act—a smile, a kind word, a genuine “thank you”—can change the tone of an entire day. Relationships thrive when both partners focus on giving instead of keeping score.
Practical tip: Each day, do one small act of giving for your partner without expecting anything back. Over time, this habit builds trust and intimacy.
2. In Friendships
Friendship is not about how many people stand by you in your good times but how much you have given of yourself during theirs. Being available when a friend is in crisis, remembering important dates, or even sending a short encouraging message are simple forms of giving.
Practical tip: Ask yourself once a week: Did I give support to a friend, or did I only wait to receive it?
3. In Family Life
Parents give selflessly to children—time, guidance, and love. But children too can give: respect, gratitude, and attention. In a world distracted by gadgets, the simple act of putting down a phone and listening to your parent or grandparent is a form of giving that means more than any gift.
Giving at Work
Workplaces are often seen as arenas of competition, but those who rise fastest are usually those who give the most value.
1. Giving Effort and Excellence
Instead of asking, “What can I get from this job?” ask, “What can I give?” When you give your best effort, you earn trust, recognition, and opportunities.
Practical tip: Before starting your workday, set one intention: What extra value can I give today?
2. Giving Mentorship
Sharing knowledge with juniors, guiding colleagues, and helping others succeed does not diminish your success—it multiplies it. Leaders are remembered not for what they kept but for what they gave.
Practical tip: Once a week, help a colleague without expecting credit—review their work, give feedback, or simply encourage them.
3. Giving Positivity
Every workplace has stress. But one positive voice can lift an entire team. A word of appreciation, a calm presence in conflict, or a willingness to listen is a gift that improves morale.
Giving in Society
Beyond family and work lies the larger circle of society, where giving creates community.
1. Giving Time for Service
Volunteering for local causes—cleaning a park, teaching underprivileged children, visiting an orphanage—enriches both giver and receiver. Even a few hours a month can create a ripple of change.
2. Giving Resources
Not everyone has money to spare, but all of us can give something—unused clothes, books, food, or skills. Sharing what you do not need could be life-changing for someone else.
Practical tip: Once every three months, declutter your home and donate items you don’t use.
3. Giving Gratitude
We often overlook how powerful gratitude is. Thanking the bus driver, acknowledging a waiter, or appreciating a colleague are forms of giving dignity. Gratitude uplifts others and strengthens human connection.
Giving in Everyday Life
Giving is not always grand or extraordinary. It is a habit woven into small daily actions.
On the road: Give way to another driver instead of fighting for space.
In public spaces: Give a smile to strangers; it costs nothing yet brightens someone’s day.
At home: Give patience when tempers flare; silence can be a greater gift than harsh words.
On social media: Give encouragement rather than criticism; share knowledge rather than negativity.
Practical tip: End each day with a reflection: What did I give today? Even writing down one act strengthens the habit.
The Rewards of Giving
Though we are encouraged to give without expecting, life always circles back with returns:
Better Relationships – When you give affection and respect, people naturally reciprocate.
Career Growth – Those who give value consistently are promoted faster and trusted more.
Emotional Health – Studies show that giving reduces stress and increases happiness.
Social Impact – Your giving contributes to a culture of kindness, inspiring others to do the same.
Self-Respect – When you give, you see yourself as useful and purposeful, which strengthens inner confidence.
Overcoming Barriers to Giving
“I don’t have enough to give.”
You always do. Even if you lack money, you can give kindness, time, or attention.
“People may take advantage of me.”
Set boundaries, but don’t let fear stop your generosity. Giving is a strength, not a weakness.
“I’m waiting until I succeed before I give.”
Success does not create givers; giving creates success. Start small, start now.
Conclusion
“Give, to get” is not just a phrase—it is a law of life. In relationships, you get love by giving love. In careers, you get respect by giving effort. In society, you get progress by giving contribution. Everywhere, giving comes first, and getting follows naturally.
So pause and reflect: What have you given today? Did you give kindness, knowledge, gratitude, or patience? Or did you only wait for the world to give to you?
Remember, life does not reward the taker but the giver. To give is to open the doors of abundance. To give is to plant seeds for tomorrow. To give is to live fully.
And when your life is measured one day—not by what you had but by what you gave—you will realize that giving was never loss, but the only true way of receiving.
*Dr Devan is a Mangaluru-based ENT specialist and author.
Hindusthan Samachar / Manohar Yadavatti
